Healing Tips From
'My Healing Companion'

A revealing self-guided journal
designed to help those dealing with cancer become their own heroes.

Immediately you have been diagnosed with breast cancer, every story of survival becomes a beacon of hope. And this is one of my favourite testimonials that will surely inspire you, too.

Beverly gave me permission to share her story with you here. If you'd like to know more about her Healing Companion just click here (opens in a new window).

A breast cancer survivor since 1993, Beverly Katherine Kirkhart started treatment like most cancer victims: filled with anger, fear and anxiety.

As a result, she spent the night following her first chemotherapy dose vomiting, constipated, sweating, and feverish - leading her to the realization that her body was sending a message: let go of those hateful and angry emotions.

Kirkhart immediately began researching techniques to help her change her attitude, address her fear of death, and find peace in her situation.

Among them, she found her greatest comfort in keeping a daily journal - which led to the creation of her just-published book, My Healing Companion.

Based on the belief that it's how we look at our challenges and tragedies that determines how we come through them, My Healing Companion is filled with healing exercises and Kirkhart's own experiences coping, adjusting and turning cancer into a positive force in her life.

Most important, it's designed to serve as a self-guided journal - with ample writing space for anyone coping with cancer (or any disease or disability) to record their own journey of self-realization and empowerment - and ultimately find serenity on the road to survival.

"Being diagnosed with breast cancer was the turning point in my life. On reflection, I realize that this was the moment when my new life emerged! It forced me to make choices that helped me to discover my inner strength and take back my life shifting from 'why me?' to 'Why not me?', she writes in the introduction to My Healing Companion.

Healing Tip #1 From My Healing Companion

THINGS YOU CAN DO TO LET GO OF YOUR ANGER

Deep breathing - slowly breathe in, filling up your stomach, then your lungs. Release through your mouth.

Pray or meditate.

Exercise.

Listen to music.

Distract yourself with a hobby.

Get out in nature.

— Verbalize: Say It! Articulate your anger.

Journaling: Explore your deepest emotions and write them down.

Healing Tip #4 From My Healing Companion

REMINDERS THAT YOU ARE SPECIAL!

I acted out the victim role, and fell desperately into the black hole of self-pity.

What I needed was the confidence and higher self-esteem necessary to bravely face my cancer challenge.

So I came up with this idea I call my affirmation wall. And as my self-confidence grew, my attitude towards cancer changed.

Buy some Post-Its at an office supply store, and grab a pen, pencil or crayon.

On separate pages, list your best qualities. And don't be shy! You may surprise yourself when you find out how much you have to offer yourself and others.

Here's what I wrote on mine: "I'm worthy of happiness." "I belong here." "I am loving!" "I am a whole person!!" "I DO make a difference!" "I am beautiful!!!"

Then I posted them all over my house, and each time I walked by one, I would repeat aloud what I had written.

Healing Tip #10 From My Healing Companion

KEEP A JOURNAL: WRITE TO SURVIVE

Find the specific time of the day that best works for you, and build it into your schedule just like a business or doctor's appointment.

And don't let anything but emergencies interfere or pull you away.

Also don't say no to an urge to write at any time. Give yourself the freedom to jot down your thoughts whenever they occur.

Find a place to write that is comforting, relaxing and peaceful. Perhaps it's a room in your house, or your patio, or the library, or your favorite coffee shop.

If you decide to write at home, create a stimulating environment. What turns you on? Is it music? Burning candles? The aroma of a cup of tea or espresso?

For me, it was turning on a soothing tape and writing by candle light.

What to write on? If you don't have a copy of My Healing Companion, think about investing in one of the bound journals now available at many book stores or stationery departments. If a thought occurs, grab a piece of paper or napkin, and write!

What to write with? Any pen will do, but consider treating yourself to a quality writing instrument that you only use for journal writing. One woman told me she spent $65 on a pen, but that she had never been happier writing.

Give yourself permission to write any way you want. Now that you have all your writing tools, where do you start?

Make a list of your emotions. To unleash these emotions, pick a word, feeling or quote.

If you're happy, consider writing in pink ink. If you're sad, try blue ink. Also, write big, write small, from left to write, in a circle, whatever your mood dictates. If you can't find the words, draw a picture. Let the child in you roam free, and your spirits will follow.

Don't edit yourself. We already spend too much time judging ourselves. Trusting yourself means giving your feelings full-rein to come out.

So who cares if you misspell a word or don't write complete sentences! It's your journal, and no one will ever see it - unless you want them to.

Beverly's story

Following is the story of how this admired survivor turned lemons into lemonade…and became her own hero.

While studying for a degree in business administration at the California Polytechnic State University in San Luis Obispo, Beverly met her college sweetheart, an architectural student. Following graduation they got married and moved to the picturesque quaint beach town of Santa Barbara, California.

In 1981, Beverly with her husband and another couple, renovated a Spanish Colonial Revival structure, built in 193l, into a romantic 18 room inn. The Villa Rosa soon became one of Santa Barbara's landmark small hotels, only 84 steps from the Pacific Ocean.

Beverly spent the next decade managing it, while her husband established his own prominent architectural firm. They went on to design and build their dream home, which was featured in Sunset Magazine, in Santa Barbara's lush foothills. Beverly loved her life.

But her dream life shattered in 1991. Her marriage ended in a divorce, she was forced to file bankruptcy, losing her business and home. She was financially devastated. The woman who had once served as one of the region's business leaders - as president of the city's convention and tourism bureau, co-founder of the Lodging Association of Santa Barbara, and creator of their visitor's information center - was now penniless. When she could, she house-sat. When there was nowhere to go, she often spent nights sleeping in her car.

THE DIAGNOSIS

Six months later, while she was showering, Beverly felt it again. This time it had grown to the size of a pea. "I just knew it was breast cancer." So, she returned to the doctor, who did another biopsy.

Concerned, he sent her to a breast surgeon, who removed it. A few days later, she heard from her surgeon, who confirmed her nightmare – she had breast cancer.

"I was just stunned," she recalls. "I was standing there frozen in fear. Haven’t I dealt with enough adversities and now I have to go through this! This can’t be happening to me! At first, I was in denial. No, it's not me. Then shock, what do I do? I was just lifeless. I was empty. I was kicked down."

Unfortunately, cancer ran in Beverly's family. Her sister had survived breast cancer twice, the second time requiring a mastectomy. Her mother and grandmother had died of colon cancer, and two of her father's brothers were killed by the disease.

After investigating her options, Beverly settled on traditional treatment, supplemented by diet, yoga, exercise, and meditation. For a year, she was consumed with chemo, radiation treatments and doctor's appointments. She lost her hair twice, but was reprieved of a mastectomy.

"At the end, I was so exhausted, it was like crawling across the finish line," she relates. "It was just a nightmare. I couldn't get out of bed. I couldn't focus on anything.”

Meanwhile, Beverly was working as a development consultant for non-profit organizations. The hardest part, she recalls, was trying to pretend everything was normal around male clients, while showing up to meetings wearing wigs.

She has never relapsed. Even though her doctor wouldn't say she was cancer-free until five years from diagnosis, "my attitude was that I was cancer free the minute I got through with my treatments."

Indeed, Beverly celebrates each new birthday not as another year of getting older, but another year of survival.

Her First Major Turning Point

Suddenly inspired, Beverly decided to turn her setback into a comeback. She signed up for The Century Ride - a 100-mile bike ride up the coast above Santa Barbara. "I'd never done anything that physical in my life, even when I was healthy." She began training every day, covering her bedroom with affirmations written on Post-it notes to keep herself focused.

Ride day turned out to be cold and windy. "I hit severe head winds. I felt like I was riding a stationary bike - pedaling and pedaling, but getting no-where." After a short lunch break at the 50-mile mark, she got back on the bike and headed south. "My back began to scream, every body part ached, including a few I didn't know I owned." But it looked like she'd make it.

Then at the 90-mile mark - after 7 ½ hours in the saddle - Beverly encountered a mountain that she had to climb in order to reach the finish line. "I was near collapse. I just wanted to get off the bike and hitchhike home."

It was at that moment of desperation, with everything she had survived in the previous year flashing through her mind, that Beverly determined she would do it. So she switched into the lowest gear and standing on her pedals, stubbornly inched her way up.

"As I flew down the backside of the mountain and crossed the finish line, I knew that I was my own hero. I was a survivor. I had summoned the courage to reclaim my life. There was nothing I couldn't handle now. And even though I had lost my marriage, my money, and for a while, my health, I hadn't lost myself. When I crossed that finish line, I knew I was my own hero."

Becoming A Nationally-Known Speaker

Beverly surprised herself by raising her hand. "Trust me, I never raised my hand on anything! I was the most bashful person in the whole world. I don't know where it came from, but I raised my hand and said, I want to tell my story!"

After appearing before a crowd of 350, Beverly was approached by Canfield to become a co-author on future editions of the book, and join his speaker's bureau - which began booking her for cancer events around the country. With the help of Toastmasters, Beverly was able to conquer her fear of public speaking.

The inspiration behind her book,
My Healing Companion

She remembers: "I wanted to help in the worst way. I wanted to leave a piece of me with them, to give them hope that they, too, could make it. But how? What can I give them? Handouts, a video, a book? For some reason, none of these excited me, especially the book idea. I'm not a writer; writing has always been a struggle for me."

The inspiration for My Healing Companion struck during a speaking engagement for a cancer awareness program in Connecticut. That evening in her hotel room, Beverly got a vision of a journal. She had kept a journal throughout her own ordeal. Even the title of the book suddenly came to her.

After returning to California, Beverly met with a graphic designer who sketched the cover and layout on a napkin.

Even though she was eager to get started, Beverly soon discovered that it wasn't going to be as easy as she had thought. The problem: "I had to relive the excruciating times of my cancer experience. I was completely unaware of how much I had buried my painful feelings of this memory."

She struggled each day, taking excerpts from her own journal - such as "I feel so out of control, beaten down, worthless…why live another day?" "My heart truly hurt to read those words. It was hard to believe that I had been that depressed and lifeless for literally years."

Ultimately, it took over three years to complete the project. "All along this writing journey, I had to make choices. I set up self-imposed deadlines with completion dates for each chapter.

This created tension with my family and friends, because there were a lot of times when I'd be invited to parties, holiday events, trips, whatever. I had to chose: do I push back the deadline or do I participate in this event? For three and half years, the writing came first."

It was a sacrifice she would happily do again. "It was a healing process for me, but more importantly this book represents a deep sense of giving back to help anyone else facing their own hardship."

Return from Healing Tips to Healing Antioxidants

Be inspired by Happy Jennifer's story, too!